Life in the Abrams

Recently, there's been a new hire posting lots of questions on the Unofficial Abrams Facebook page, so I thought I'd write an informative blog about what to expect about life at the Abrams.  After all, someone should.

Life at the Abrams could probably be likened to life in a high school frat house.  I say high school because that seems to the be the approximate maturity level at times, and frat house for the apparent atmosphere at most times.  Beer is the #1 barter system in the Abrams.  If you need to beg a ride to post from a lucky punk who has a car, or to borrow some hard-to-find commodity for a few hours, beer is the bartering chip that will get you what you want.  Of course, there are other types of alcoholic beverages that will suffice, but beer is the staple for the most part.  I have personally never used this system at all, but I'm told it's quite effective.

The community showers at the Abrams have two basic settings:  molten lava, and glacier freeze.  Anything in-between is purely accidental.  Should someone happen to flush a toilet while you are directly under a spigot, prepare yourself for 2nd degree burns.

When they tell you that between 10p.m. and 6a.m. is the 'quiet time' at the Abrams, what they mean to say is those are the official 'party hours' of the Abrams.  Real quiet time occurs between the hours of 7a.m. and 2p.m. when everyone is either at a morning shift, or so hungover from the night before that there are few signs of life in the hallways.  If you want to catch up on sleep, mid to late morning and early afternoon are the best hours to do so.  10 p.m. is when everyone is just getting started.  5 a.m. is approximately when the exodus to worship at the porcelain shrines begins.

There is a pretty strong sense of community at the Abrams.  People realize we are all in this together, and we all try to help each other out for the most part.  Sometimes people take this too literally, and you might notice some of your belongings might go missing from time to time while someone borrows them.  Occasionally, they might forget to return the items.  Generally, you can find a workable replacement in DOS so it's not too big of a deal.

Oh yes, DOS.  DOS is where we put all of our belongings which we no longer want but can't actually sell or simply don't want to put forth the effort to sell.  Sometimes you will find amazing things in DOS.  I've gotten a few good books and a cute bag.  Some people take this opportunity to dispose of everything from their used underwear, to shoes without mates.  Perhaps those shoes would be useful to a one-legged man/woman, but we don't have too many of those floating, err, hobbling around here.

Dorm storming.  It happens.  I don't personally like it.  Especially not at 3a.m. when I'm woken in the middle of a dream.  I already blogged about this one.  'Nough said.

There is a swastika still up on the wall in the fitness room.  It's painted on a brick.  It's kind of creepy.  This used to be a WWII Nazi hospital, for those of you who don't already know.

I'm sure there's more but I will save it for later.  All in all, it's quite the experience of a lifetime, I must say.  I've met some really cool people here, in spite of all my joking and complaining.  It's definitely a unique place.